• Thoughts

I applied to college a few days ago. The hospital system I worked for laid off hundreds of workers, replacing some of them with AI, and this was the final straw for me at this job that I hate anyway. I've been saying I want to be a midwife for over a decade, and this is the first time I've actually made steps towards it, besides my brief stint as a CNA a few years ago. I'm talking to my therapist about stress management. I haven't told her how burned out I really feel, because ultimately, it doesn't matter. With my husband's mental health where it is, I'm the one stepping up right now.

I will probably get a new job. My current job does have tuition reimbursement, but it also is draining my soul at an alarming rate. I don't get along very well with my coworkers, my manager and director are ineffectual and frustrating, and that trumps any enjoyment I get out of the actual work. And it's a shame, because I do enjoy the actual work. Not to be an extremely stereotypical autistic man, but auditing is genuinely fun for me.

I finished Smash the Church, Smash the State!, and while I was unsurprised that racism and misogyny have existed in every version of the gay activist community that exists, it was nice to read liberation theory rather than rights theory. Whenever someone says, "The gay agenda isn't real, we don't want to destroy marriage and gender roles!", they're not including me. I am gay, and that is my agenda. The same system that oppresses me for being gay and trans, also oppresses me for being Black, and also oppresses my sisters for being Black women, and is the source of ableism, imperialism, genocidal white supremacy that all needs to burn. In my personal opinion, which I am not planning to do anything about, besides educate everyone who asks.