• Pack It Up, Boys

Social Blunder #1: Confessed something vulnerable and intimate while my husband was in the middle of the joke, leaving them little choice but to just keep making the joke and ignore what I said.

Social Blunder #2: Went to a work function with my husband, but was too awkward to interact with their coworkers, so just talked to their other partner the whole time. Social Blunder #2.5 Accidentally talked way too much and dominated the conversation because I was nervous and tipsy. This person now knows way too much about me for no fucking reason.

Social Blunder #3: Offered my husband stress management tips, only remembering during the disastrous attempt that they do not appreciate it when I do this, and all I was doing was pissing us both off.

I really like that I thought that nursing school would be a good ingredient to add to this cocktail. I keep giving people medical information about how alcoholism kills, just so they all know that when I inevitably start drinking myself to death, I will be aware that it's happening.

I was productive today, but it doesn't feel like it matters. I got really annoyed with my husband and sister-in-law, which seems to trump anything good I contribute to the household. All I do anymore is get angry or get annoyed or do chores. Sometimes I do all three at once, and it is a very confusing emotional time for us all. I'm trying really hard not to trigger either of them, because they've told me my annoyance reminds them of their mother, but also. I am so frustrated all of the time. I can never escape this apartment where it feels like everything is designed to stress me out, and the agoraphobia has made it so that leaving the apartment isn't much of a help either. Such is life, I suppose. I'll figure it out.